It’s not that community or my previous responsibilities have become unimportant, I care about them deeply as I always have. It’s that this little human needs ALL of me right now. As any new mom can relate, I can barely make a phone call or pay a bill before he quickly calls me away with his smiles, cries, coos and needs.

I’ve seriously considered hiring someone to stay home with him while I go back to work. Many moms choose to do this or they have no choice and I completely understand. However for me, I quickly realized that I really want to be here for all the little moments of his brand new life, at least for a while. I want to be here to see when he figures out how to hold a toy, or when he realizes that the little boy in the mirror is actually him. I want to discern which cry is because of some serious pain and which cry is just a need for attention. And I want to watch him discover the world through his brand new eyes.

I’ve heard people say that moms “just know” instinctively what’s wrong with our children and how to fix it. This is not so – I’ve spend countless frustrating nights having no idea what’s wrong with my son or how to fix it. The only reason I “just know” anything at this point is because of I’ve been there the last 30 times he’s done that particular thing and I’ve learned.

Does God Really Know Everything?

So why do I choose to spend so much time with my son? Because I want to know him. I want to know what he thinks, how he processes, what makes him upset, what makes him happy. I want to know my child because I love him but also because it make parenting a whole lot more possible. So I’ll sacrifice however many hours, days, or weeks as I can to simply be by his side so that I get to know him.

It occurred to me that this is how God feels about us. He wants to know us. Most of us take for granted that God knows everything. But have we stopped to ask WHY He knows everything? This knowledge is not magic – it is earned. Just like me with my son, God has been there with you at every step. He has taken the time and energy to be there when you scraped your knee, when you had your first heartbreak, when you doubted yourself, when you doubted Him. He has been there with you through it all – and that’s why He knows everything about you. Like a loving parent, He has sacrificed his time and energy to be by your side, to see the world through your eyes – so that He may know you.

I know how much it takes for me to try and be there for just one little person, and yet God does this for every one of us…in the dark moments and in the good moments. This is why His knowledge is absolute. From personal experience I can firmly say that this amount of dedication and time can only be devoted to another if motivated by great love.

The post Does God Really Know Everything? appeared first on Aniela's Place.

Women – we’re multitaskers. We’ve always been multitaskers. Everything is one giant mixture in our heads, all at once, and there’s no turning anything off. We dictate lists while we drive. We do the math for our bills while we clean. We think of all the personal stuff we need to do while we’re at work and we think of all the work stuff we need to do when we’re at home. While on vacation, we think of the endless tasks that need to be done when the vacation is over. As we celebrate an accomplishment that took a lot of time and hard work, we’re simultaneously lamenting the countless other projects which still need to be done.

And we are also usually annoyed at the other people in our lives who don’t see the mountain of tasks that we see. Doing 100 things at once is how we are. This is how we process the world. It’s not a choice. It’s a default. We can’t stop it even if we tried, and we do try – but to no avail.

Learning to Become a Single-Tasker

However, some days require us to give up our multi-tasking genius and just be there. Being with a distraught friend, dealing with a family emergency or just breathing through something hard, just being there is enough for that day. And it is a worthy accomplishment. Today my newborn son had multiple issues that left him in discomfort and pain. Nothing I tried seemed to help. So ALL I could do ALL day is hold him, feed him, change him, help him sleep, sing to him and then start all over. He literally took ALL of me all day.

This is unprecedented! Why? Because like I said…women multitask NO MATTER WHAT! We’re kind of “badass” amazing in that way. There isn’t enough stress or delight in the world to turn off our multitasking default.

But today with my son, I could make no lists in the back of my mind. I couldn’t find any solutions to the many problems facing me right now – not even to the immediate problem at hand. I couldn’t do any research on remedies for newborns, though I certainly wanted to. I couldn’t answer any texts, pay bills, take a shower or even make myself something to eat. I could do NOTHING else but comfort him.

Full Concentration and Both Hands

THIS is what makes moms cry and lose it. It’s not that caring for a child is too hard. It’s that the attention required is constant and unyielding. It takes all of your focus, all of your thoughts, and all of your hands. And at the end of a really hard day, you feel defeated and beaten instead of accomplished and satisfied.

Just last year, while managing a construction project, I also planned a PR event, while I dealt with my nephew who had accidentally cut his hand, and I simultaneously fielded phone calls from my team on a mission trip. That was a hard day, but totally doable. At the end of that day, I felt like Wonder Woman. But today I handled no projects, no events, not even a phone call!

With the VERY few spare minutes I had while my boy was sleeping, I wrote this post so that someone could hypothetically hear me. I mean let’s be serious, what I am I gonna do? Call one of my multitasking friends who really is juggling work and kids and life and complain that I can’t think today, that I can’t breathe?

On one hand, I feel beaten and defeated. But that’s just not true. Nor is it fair. I just to have to realize that holding my son IS my accomplishment for today. I have to remember that there are some days – not just for moms but for all of us – when that one thing is ALL you can do. Crying with your best friend when she’s hurt, holding your sister’s hand while her kid is in the hospital, or just surviving through something hard…that one thing is enough for that day. Is IS our great accomplishment for the day and we could not have done it while doing a million other things.

That’s Enough for Today

So I made myself repeat “it’s enough for today” over and over. It’s enough that I just held my son today. It’s enough that I just comforted him nonstop. It’s enough! I don’t need to figure this or any other problem out today. I don’t need to find solutions. I don’t need to make up for all the things I missed. It’s enough to just be with him today – that’s all – just be with him.

There will be other days…days when I can think, when I can take a break, when he’s feeling good and sleeping well. I will have those days and I will once again multitask with the best of them. I will solve all the things creeping up on me, and God will help. There will be many days when I return to the multitasking “badass” I know myself to be. But as for today, it’s a worthy accomplishment to just hold my son. It is enough.

The post That’s Enough for Today appeared first on Aniela's Place.

My husband, on the other hand, is constantly looking for any chance to get away and write something on his own website. He would write all day long if he could (he can’t). He’s often tried to convince me to do the same but with little success.  The other day, I mentioned to him an interesting concept I was pondering and his reply was,

“That’s really cool, Aniela. It’s too bad you and I are the only ones who are going to hear it. In a day or two, we won’t remember the details of it. And in a week or two, we won’t even remember having the conversation.”

He was, of course, guilting me into finally starting my own website, but I hate to admit it; he has a point. Preserving the thoughts and impressions of our lives is becoming increasingly important to both of us. We forget so much! Especially now as new parents – I swear my attention span and memory parallel those of my baby boy.  The lessons we learn, the discoveries we make, the few moments of clarity and peace, they are all so easily overshadowed by the next emergency.  And then, with time, they are lost.

New Website

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Kardashian. I have no desire to be an open book where every moment of my life is public.  However, leaving behind some of my experiences, thoughts, and lessons definitely has a ethereal charm to it. It is perhaps a small legacy to remind me and maybe others of the things that made this life remarkable.

Please write to me and say hello if you found this post. I’d love to hear from you.

The post New Year, New Website, New Post appeared first on Aniela's Place.